Thank you Stephen Hawking

I started reading A Brief History of Time about 3 week ago. I was a little intimidated, knowing that since I have never taken a physics class I might struggle to get past the first chapter. But, I'm happy to say that didn't happen. Though I read it slower than I read fiction, I make it through a chapter ever time I pick up the book. I pick it up infrequently if only because I know I have to have a good hour ready to take in everything and then more to let it sink in and effect me. 

There's so much I took for granted about space and time and the universe that I'm learning wasn't really correct. For example, Hawking is now anti big bang, even though he was a key person involved in pushing its acceptance. Here I was going around thinking that it was a fact, along with the 'fact' that the universe will someday finish expanding and begin to collapse back in upon itself. Again! Wrong! This is only one of the possibilities. I understand that theory really means nothing more than that. These are theories, based on scientific and mathematic formulas so far used to explain the forces large and small in our universe.  Shocking again to learn that these formulas could be wrong. If Newton's formula works sometimes, but not all the times, doesn't that make it wrong? Or incomplete? Could Einstein be wrong too? I think its admirable that there are people out there capable of thinking concretely about the universe, and I sit on the edge of my chair ready to read what they are discovering. In the meantime, I try not to hope too hard that they'll figure out time travel during my lifetime.

I'm not done yet with the book, and maybe I'll post again once I've finished. But for now, I just want to say thank you Stephen Hawking. For giving me a mission to discover all I can about life before I'm done with it, or it's done with me, or done with all of us. When I think about the description of the distance in space between stars and galaxies and clusters of galaxies and how that space is still growing, and in doing so every second we become smaller and smaller and more insignificant than ever, I am grateful for this thought, no matter how it causes fear in me, and I hope to continue being scared and completely enthralled.

Introduction

In April 2010 I went to the LA Times Festival of Books at UCLA. It was my second year there, I had been counting down the days like a child coked up on the approach of Christmas. I went this time with a more precise agenda. I had missed Dave Eggers due to work, but  found a very worthwhile replacement. Mark Danielewski was speaking on a panel titled Fiction Outside the Margins. 
At the time I read his book, House of Leaves, it was the closest thing to a spiritual experience I had ever had. So, I was beyond thrilled with anticipation of the wisdom he might share. All three panelists had a lot to say about writing fiction that pushed outside the boundaries of format and style etc. There was much they said that had me feeling inspired and ready to keep writing. There was one thing though, that Danielewki and a fellow panelist disagreed upon. Someone had questioned what they as writers would read while working on a particular piece. The other panelist had said he tended to stay away from anything that resembled his style, out of fear of it influencing his own work. Danielewski took this and flipped it around. He said that you need to read what you fear will influence you, to make you better. 
It was this statement that made me realize that it was important to my writing that I read as much as I can. To challenge my fear of being influenced, I finally got around to reading Kurt Vonnegut, and bought more flash fiction and short story compilations. Now I see every book I read as a reminder to myself. Can I write this well? Can I write better?


So here is me reading.